Facebook Classic Experiment and Kavanaugh

I did a one-week experiment that I call “Facebook Classic.”  When I first joined FB, it was just to stay up-to-date with friends and family.  It hasn’t been until the last couple of years when the number of political posts rose exponentially, for myself and others.  For the past week, I didn’t respond or “like” any political posts whether I agreed with them or not.  Some I read, some I scrolled past.  When I saw heated discussions, I occasionally messaged a friend to “save their breath” because it’s clear that some people generally don’t want to hear another opinion, and often become rude (name-calling, presumption of idiocy/stupidity, etc)... and that just leads to frustration, hurt and disappointment.

I saw a couple posts about “Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society.”... and I had a conversation with my family about some of our “friends” across the aisle.  One general comment my girls mentioned was that, “Anybody who can call you a libtard, loonie, etc is not really your friend.”  I noted the irony that some of those people that I’ve met in person are also probably the first to lend a hand when they see you’re in need... and I don’t think they really understand how some of the hateful name-calling can do irreparable damage.  Or maybe they just think we’re being too “politically correct” and need to get some thicker skin.  

It has been eye opening to see how people think though, and I’m getting glimpses into souls (or lack thereof).  While I won’t be engaging in heated arguments (it’s useless and disappointing), I will be watching how people behave and continuously evaluate who I want to associate with.

This whole Kavanaugh Debacle is what brought about my experiment.  When I first heard about the accusation, my first thought was that nobody would believe her because it’s been so long.  I watched the testimonies both Ford and Kavanaugh.  I found her to be credible and respectful; I found him to be rude, partisan and out-of-control.  He even had to apologize to one of the female Senators for being such a jerk.  

He misrepresented facts by saying the other witnesses cleared him; but what they really said was that they couldn’t remember.  There’s a big difference.  I went to parties just about every weekend in high school and got highly drunk at many... and I can’t remember what happened to other people either.   It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m not lying about it either.  Someone could’ve been cornered into a room with 1-2 other people and gotten sexually assaulted; and I wouldn’t have known either.  I got decent grades and played sports like Kavanaugh - but that doesn’t have anything to do with whether he attacked her.  Instead of answering yes or no questions, he ran down the clock by bragging about academics and sports. When I “ralphed,” it was cuz I drank too much - not because I had a “sensitive stomach.” If he lied about little things like  “ralphing,” it makes me wonder if he lied about the bigger things. If I kept a calendar from the 80s, I wouldn’t write down each time I got drunk or passed out... so to say that his calendar clears him is a pretty big reach.

After the testimony, I posted that I believed her but I figured he’d be sitting on the Supreme Court because... Anita Hill.  And I was right.  They pretended to do another FBI investigation, but it’s not really an investigation if you’re not interviewing the numerous people who can testify that they saw him get out-of-control drunk in high school and college.  Heck, from what I saw of an “adult” out-of-control Brett Kavanaugh trying to give testimony, I can only imagine what a scary, drunk teenage version of him was like.  The one-week investigation was a sham as were the so-called moderates who called for it.  Flake got a bit of heat in the elevator and asked for more investigation, but neither he nor Collins ensured that people were actually being followed up on.  But that's neither here nor there - anybody who watched Kavanaugh "testify" could see that he spent his time attacking Democrats and conspiracy theories... and can no way be impartial.

People say, “Of course he was mad,” but this was a job interview for the highest court in the land (which is supposed to be impartial btw), and he behaved poorly by lashing out at Democrats, the Clintons, etc.  He had plenty of time to calm down and give testimony like someone befitting the highest court of the land.  He now claims he will be nonpartisan and regrets some of what he said, but he planned out his opening statement in which he lashed out at people, so you can’t really claim he was blindsided at the moment and reacted.  He basically planned to be a partisan hack while giving his testimony.  Even Republican former Justice John Paul Stevens said he’s not fit to sit on the Supreme Court.  https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/04/us/politics/john-paul-stevens-brett-kavanaugh.html

As for people who claim to now worry about their sons being falsely accused - If you raise your sons to respect women, then you don’t have to worry about that.  In fact, the number of silent victims greatly outnumbers any boys that were falsely accused.  I’ve known a lot of boys and I don’t know of any who have even been accused.  This is just a scare tactic people are using to shut victims up.  

People also ask why she waited so long to talk.  All I can say is that you’re pretty lucky to not have been sexually harassed/assaulted and/or not known someone who has.  It’s pretty well known that sexual assault victims don’t want to talk about it because they feel hurt and shame, and often get criticized for being at the wrong place, wearing the wrong clothes, being flirtatious, etc (especially back in the 80s).  Oftentimes the perpetrator is a person in power or held in high esteem (family elders, priests, etc) and it’s a “he said she said” thing where only those two people were in the room.  In this particular case, she was 15 years old and at a party she didn’t have permission to go to... and he was unsuccessful at the rape.

I’m glad she spoke up now because, at the very least, it showed how out-of-control he could be during testimony.  I figured I’d listen to both testimonies before forming my opinion, and his behavior convinced me he was not fit.   And it also reveals how the Republican Senators will do anything to make the Supreme Court as partisan as it can be. They accused the Democrats of digging up dirt on Kavanaugh, but there shouldn’t be any dirt to be dug up. Neil Gorsuch was confirmed not too long ago, and I can’t believe Kavanaugh was the only person suited for the job.

As I mentioned before, I knew he’d be confirmed anyway because we haven’t progressed all that much since Anita Hill.  People keep saying “innocent til proven guilty,” but this was not a trial by court.  This was a job interview.  Her testimony was credible, she had a psychiatrist that she told about the attack several years ago and she had taken a polygraph.  That’s enough to make me look for a better candidate. If I hire a babysitter for my kids, I’m not gonna hire somebody that even has a whiff of perversion or irresponsibility about him/her.  I’m going to look for the next candidate.  If I asked a babysitter about some accusations against him/her and he/she started railing about how there was a conspiracy against him/her... that person wouldn’t get a dime from me.   But alas, that’s what we have as a Supreme Court Justice.  Nothing surprises me anymore, it just saddens me.  That’s the one branch of government that’s supposed to be nonpartisan, and it’s losing credibility along with the others.

Facebook Fast and God’s Timing

I did another Facebook Fast from August 11 to September 1, to give me time to spend more time with God.  Facebook can be an enormous time suck, especially if (like me) you tend to get into political discussions.  

As I started the fast, I was getting ready for eye surgery since it had been bleeding off/on for a year (since Labor Day Weekend 2017).  Geoff has been great all year, driving me around to different appointments... and people in general have been really helpful and supportive.  The surgery went well on 8/15 which was towards the beginning of the fast, and I had time off work to relax and spend more time in prayer and reading the Bible.  Both our girls were also around during my recovery time, and it was great to spend time with them!

As Labor Day 2018 rolled around, my vision returned well enough for me to drive even at night.  My hubby Geoff started having pain in his back/leg/hip area.  We talked to numerous advice nurses and saw an urgent care doctor and our general practitioner’s backup (because she was on vacation), and they both figured he had lower back strain.  A couple nights later, he had a fever and rapid heartrate and the advice nurse told us to go to Kaiser’s ER.  From there, they determined he had an infection in his spine and hip.  He was in the hospital for 8 days and just came home yesterday.  

All of this was somewhat stressful, but our good friends Sue and Henry Ng just came back from 7-8 weeks in New York where her family lives.  Sue is also a newly retired ICU Nurse, so she was very helpful in explaining things and letting me know what to look out for.  The whole Ng family is like family to us - Henry and Geoff have known each other since they were teens in San Francisco, and we’ve lived within a couple blocks of each other (in both Vallejo and Fairfield) for the past 30+ years.  Their kids are like cousins to our kids, and they all helped look after our pets while I was visiting with Geoff at Kaiser.

The Facebook Fast ended on the day Geoff got admitted to the hospital and I was able to let his friends know what was going on via Facebook (and text for the few who don’t use FB).  Everybody has been so supportive.  When my agnostic father asked if he could do anything, I told him to try prayer.  He said he would try that, and I’m hoping he can see that his prayers do make a difference.  Through the past month, I can see God’s hand and timing in everything.  Some may think, “If there’s a God, why would you have to go through all that?”  But I say, “He does all that because He loves me and wants me to see His greatness.” This is no coincidence - this is Him at work.

My Road from Independent to Democratic Voter

One could say that my journey from an Independent to Democratic Voter ran parallel to my road from Agnostic to Christian beliefs.  Looking back, when I was Agnostic, I thought about money as "my" (or my family's) money.   Now I think of it as resources that God has entrusted in me.  And when you think about it, how people spend money is an indication of their priorities.  I always voted against tax hikes because it was impacting MY bottom line.  When Bush cut taxes, I liked the little bump in my paycheck.  I didn't look past myself when I was Agnostic/Independent, but now I do.  I try to think of the people who aren't as lucky or blessed (depending on if you're religious or not), and how God would want me to act with the wallet.

When Independent, I saw that there were good Presidents and leaders on both sides of the aisle and, many times, the differences were hard to see from the page of a history book.  Lincoln was a Republican and abolished slavery; the Kennedy's were Democratic and were active during the Civil Rights Movement.  Nixon had Watergate as a Republican and Clinton had Lewinsky as a Democrat.  Pro's and Con's on both sides of the aisle.  I set my vote on whoever I thought would make a better leader at the time and I basically still do.  The thing that has changed is MY view on the world and how God would want me to be.

I've worked for a non-profit (Napa-Solano United Way) and a large corporation (AT&T).  While I didn't get paid a whole lot at United Way, the boss tried to make it up to me in other ways - time off to help on the kids' field trips, taking Friday afternoons off early to beat the traffic, little things that add up.  It was one of my favorite jobs because I felt like a valued member of the team and I felt that I was having an impact on the community.  With AT&T, I've worked in Billing Operations, IT Project Management and Coaching.  I kind of miss helping people vs helping the company's shareholders.  I'm paid pretty well for the job I do, I have a pension and 401k and other benefits (including medical) and discounts...  But I know that I'm just a blip on the company's page, and have no illusions of them actually "valuing" me.  Sure, I have co-workers and former co-workers who are good friends, but the company itself is more beholden to shareholders.  I've seen numerous friends get outsourced and laid off so the company can give the shareholders a profit.  And that tax cut Trump gave them?  They gave everybody a $1000 bonus (which made the news), but I noticed that my regular annual bonus was about $1000 less than usual.  They are still laying off people, so it's not as if that's changed anything.  They're not bringing back jobs that they outsourced/offshored.

It's easy to look at the small bump in my paycheck and think all is well.  However, when looking at the big picture, I know that the GOP are also cutting into social services and Medicare to make up for the reduced tax revenue.  Infrastructure still needs work, Veterans still aren't being served as they should, etc. And of course 45 wants to build a wall and have a parade which also cuts into the money available for actual needs.  Unemployment may be down, but I believe it's because a lot of people have either aged out/given up  or are underemployed (or are working multiple jobs).  Also, the economy was already on the rise with Obama.  The tax dollars are needed to help with infrastructure and services for the less fortunate.  I'm afraid we've taken our "30 pieces of silver" at the detriment of the less fortunate.

All of this played into my switch from Independent to Democratic voter.  When I saw that Trump was going to be the Republican nominee, I knew I had to do all I could to prevent/resist that.  There's plenty of info available about how he cheated other businesses and wives (not to mention abuse), how he's gone bankrupt, how he avoided serving in the military, how he's racist (Central Park Five)... and there's plenty of footage of him being basically a racist, misogynist ass.

Trump doesn't disappoint me as much as his followers do.  I expect him to be an ass because he doesn't make a secret of it.  But the GOP who have bowed down to him and enabled him are who I'm really disappointed in.  Even worse are the followers who mimic/parrot his lies and tweets without fact checking anything.  Folks may say, "Oh, you have to pray for our President to be successful," but I call BS.  I wouldn't have prayed that Hitler be successful in his endeavors.  God also hardens hearts just as he did with Pharaoh when Moses wanted to leave Egypt.  I simply pray that God's will be done, and God guide my heart and thoughts.  I pray that He guides all world leaders, not just the US, because I believe He loves everybody (NOT America First).  Jesus said, "Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem." (John 4:21).  He came to save the world, not just Israel or America, and I'm tired of people insisting that we are a Christian nation when we don't behave as one.  Being pro-womb is different than being pro-life, and I feel that Christians are being deceived when they fall for the Republican line of being anti-abortion... because many of these same Republicans are fine with also cutting birth control and resources for needy families.

Basically, I went from Independent to Democrat when I saw the drop in love and principles of the GOP as Trump took over.  As I watched the Republican primaries, I couldn't believe that they couldn't elect a better candidate... just as I can't believe how his followers are doubling down with him.  I hope that someday the Republicans can restore dignity and heart to their party because I'm basically still an Independent voter.  I'm not "married" to the Democrats - I'm very displeased with how the DNC treated Bernie Sanders and want them to get their act together to put forth good, young candidates.  People make fun of millennials, but they are our future and are underestimated.  They should have a say on how they want the future to be, so that's why I am aligning with the progressive liberals. I feel the need to balance out the "extreme right" movement and to help our future leaders.

My New Facebook Policy

In the past week or so, I’ve seen erroneous links on both liberal and conservative friends’ FB pages. Whenever I (or anybody else) tries to show factcheck or snopes, it is usually met with a thanks from the liberal... or being ignored or worse doubling-down by the conservative.  This is probably because the liberal knows I am usually liberal in spirit and am just trying to make a friendly clarification; and the conservative is reacting as if I am his/her enemy.

I’ve become disheartened and discouraged by these events, because I don’t want to be my friend’s enemy. A common response to the snopes correction article is “Snopes is run by liberals.”  Does that mean that liberals are never correct? Every news source out there is going to be viewed as liberal or conservative, and some like Fox”News” and MSNBC make no secret of their slant...  But as a former journalist, I try to view things from a neutral standpoint, and through a lens that I believe a Christ would want me to.

People always assume that “reasonable people think like me” and so that’s why they post stuff. They don’t think that, “Hey, some of my friends are liberal/conservative so they may find this offensive.”  Every now and then, I start feeling like a lone voice with FB church friends.  There is one other church friend who posts with a liberal slant, so I start feeling discouraged and wonder why I bother sometimes.  But every now and then when I feel low, God sends a church friend who thanks me for posting!  So I DO know that there are church people who understand me and I am encouraged again.

I’ve given some thought and have decided that, although I will still post my “liberal” views on my page, I will no longer post factchecks to other peoples’ pages.  It is never appreciated and often resented.  Proverbs 26:4 says, “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.”  And who knows?  Could be I’m the fool anyway.  But for now, I will heed my friend’s advice to  “Keep being you my friend. We need more of you out there.”

Brain Dump

I haven’t written consistently in a while because I’ve been doing training/certification for work, and studying for that.  All my screen free time has been spent mostly just responding to FB posts or sending texts out on behalf of ACLU’s People Power (https://peoplepower.org/). Now that the test/certification is in the rear view mirror, I want to take a little time to do a brain dump.

North Korea

I knew that two unstable leaders meeting probably wasn’t gonna happen, yet still you had people bragging about how Trump was gonna make everything all better.  So they released some American prisoners... and what does our “leader” do?  He praises them as if they didn’t take them prisoners in the first place.  There are no shortcuts for real peace.  And honestly, what did North Korea have to gain by giving up their nuclear program that they’d been working so hard on?  It’s like their only bargaining chip.

American Embassy in Jerusalem

Bad move - it makes it look like we’re siding with Israel when we should be striving for peace in the region.  This has put the two-state peace resolution at risk.  As my friend, the Reverend Dr. Larry Jay, told me (and I agree): “When it comes to Jerusalem, I really don't think God cares whether it's Israel's or it's Palestine's.  Theologically, the temple was destroyed, thus making Jerusalem's spiritual significance void as God's Spirit technically withdrew from a building made of hands to a building found in the hearts of people.  Thus, I don't think it's important and that it's all politics.  Conservative Christians may state that the Bible says Jerusalem belongs to Israel.  But the Bible ultimate says that God does not live in a temple made of stones but in a temple made of flesh.  Ultimately, I believe it is none of our America Christian business.  There are more important issues our world is facing and starting a war over land should not be one of them.”

NFL’s Handling of Protests

It’s no secret that I believe in the right to peacefully protest, and I do believe that there are systemic racial injustices - particularly in the harassment, abuse and incarceration of Blacks.  Kneeling is a form of silent expression/protest that doesn’t disrupt the football game.  Would people also complain if people kneeled in prayer during the anthem?  The same people that moan about this also moan about how some kids don’t get to say the Pledge of Allegiance in school.  How about the kids (who want to) get to say the Pledge and players who want to kneel get to kneel?  Like Steve Kerr said, this is just “fake patriotism/nationalism” that people have latched onto.  Real patriotism is wanting America to truly be all that our ideals claim to be - fair and just.

DACA and the Wall

I heard some moderate Republicans came up with an Immigration package which included DACA... and of course 45 had a tantrum and said he only wanted packages which fund his wall.  What. a. baby.  The wall is costly, inefficient and unnecessary.  The Great Wall of China was built centuries ago and is better than any of the current designs of Trump’s wall... and guess what - it didn’t work.  We have the technical know-how to use drones and other methods to secure the borders.  We don’t need to build a costly wall.

Planned Parenthood and Taxes

When I was in my 20s, my cousin worked for PP and I went there for my birth control.  Yup, I was having pre-marital sex and I didn’t want to get pregnant.  There were many people in there getting care that they couldn’t afford elsewhere.  For all my pro-life friends, the Hyde Amendment blocks federal funding for abortion services, so you don’t have to worry about that.  I want everybody to have their babies, but I know that girls/women who want an abortion will have that abortion whether it’s legal or not... and I’d rather they do it in safe/sanitary conditions than in a “back alley with a coat hanger.”  If they want to have their babies, all the better!  But if they DO have their babies, all you pro-lifers out there should not complain about “welfare queens” or providing social services to young parents/families.  Life doesn’t end at the womb - real pro-lifers understand this. I believe the best way to prevent abortions is to 1) provide birth control, 2) provide aid so women can have babies even if they’re poor and/or single.  It’s too easy to just say, “I hate abortions.”  And I believe that Republicans latched on to this as a lazy way to gain voters.  After all, who doesn’t like babies?  Why, those evil Democrats of course!  But when it comes to taking care of those babies, some of those Republicans are the first ones to complain about paying taxes to help them.  They’d rather cut taxes for the wealthy and large corporations so that the corporation shareholders can gain even more wealth.

Stormy Daniels

I find it ironic and karmic justice that a porn star is sticking it to Trump.  I don’t believe she deserves a lot of praise, but I do find it amusing.  For somebody who bragged about “grabbing them by the pussy,” he deserves this kick to the crotch.

Melanie/Melania

Again, what.a.dummy.  How he tweets the wrong name is beyond me.  That’s not true - he’s just impulsive and didn’t check his auto correct.  Like all other first ladies, I pretty much leave them alone especially since I liked many of them more than I liked their husbands... especially in the case of Laura Bush and now Melania (it doesn’t take much for me to like someone more than I like Trump).  I like Michelle and Barack about equally.

Why is everyone so mean to Trump?

I have to laugh when people post this (or something similar to this) on Facebook.  Many of them claim no other President was treated as poorly until poor Trump.  They forget all the effigies of hanging/lynched Obama, etc.  Heck, they’re still complaining about Obama as if he hired spies to infiltrate Trump’s campaign.  No, People, they were investigating Russian Interference.  Can’t help it if several of his associates were involved.  So much for draining the swamp.  They are the swamp.  

Mattis and Mueller

I pray for all leaders every day, but especially these two.  I pray that God grants them wisdom and humility -  Mattis so that he can keep the World safe and Mueller for this investigation.  Mueller has already “secured guilty pleas from Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort’s business partner Rick Gates, former campaign advisor George Papadopoulos, Dutch attorney Alex van Derek Zwaan, and Richard Pinedo, all of which became cooperating witnesses to the prole.” (thank you Wikipedia).  He’s also indicted 13 Russian citizens and 3 Russian entities.  So no, Trump, this is not a “witch hunt.”  A witch hunt is when there are no findings like when Hillary Clinton was investigated again two weeks before Election Day with no new findings.  You should be thanking and kissing Comey’s behind for opening that investigation back up right then.  I made several calls to Democrats in purple areas to “get out the vote;” and I heard from many that they were not going to vote because they weren’t sure of Clinton due to the investigation.

DNC

I’ve been getting mailers from the DNC and other Democratic organizations, seemingly wanting me to fill out a survey to find out what’s important to Democratic voters... but they always end with a request for donations.  We give a little monthly to the DNC and ACLU, so I don’t fill out the surveys or send more donations.  I filled out a couple in the beginning but it’s getting tiresome.  I’m not sure what the plan is because you have moderate Democrats in the Rust Belt who voted for both Obama and Trump... and you have the progressive Democrats who are Bernie fans.  How do you find common ground between the two demographics that “make the difference”?  But one good piece of news is that there are many women who are running for office.  It’s time for women (on both sides of the aisle) to have more say in government.

School Shootings

I don’t know what the answer is... but neither do the NRA folks.  I’m one to throw everything at the problem, especially since it impacts the nation’s children.  Ban bump stocks, limit how many/what kind of guns a family can have, provide more mental health professionals at schools, provide more security at schools, etc.  These are all options that we can try, but the NRA folks only say “Guns aren’t the problem, people are.”  Non-religious people say, “Prayers and thoughts aren’t making the problem go away.”  Both are right to some extent.  Yes, people are a problem but we don’t have to give them access to weaponry fit for a militia... and while God hears our prayers, maybe He wants us to put down our toys/weapons for the sake of His children.  Several other countries have common sense gun legislation and don’t have the issues we have.

USA is a Christian Nation

I believe that’s a myth.  First, we are supposed to have freedom of religion - not just Christianity.  Second, there are many American Evangelical Christians who are not portraying the true love that I believe God calls for.  Many of these Evangelical Christians elected Trump and are okay with his crooked business practices, grabbing women by the pussy, cheating on multiple wives, turning away refugees, talking about all immigrants as if they’re all MS13, calling football players SOB’s, calling Neo-Nazis “fine people,” etc.  For all my non-Christian friends, I want to tell you that these people are not living the way Jesus asked us to.   Would I like us to be a Christian nation?  Sure, but I rely on Him to extend His love to people - and I’m not using these avid Trump followers as an example of how we’re supposed to be.

Well, I just got a bunch of stuff of my chest and there’s probably more to be said... but my dogs wanna play, the Warriors are gonna play soon, and I have my priorities ;).  GO WARRIORS!

Why is it okay for every race to be proud of their heritage except for White people?

I haven't posted in a while because it can be somewhat draining at times, and life in general has been pretty busy as is. I've cutdown my Facebook time too because it's a little disheartening to see so much conflict. Normally I just scroll past posts, figuring that people who post questions like this are doing it in a rhetorical sense... But it caught my eye when I saw that my daughter Lindsay and our dear friend Danika responded in such a thoughtful manner. I'm so impressed by these young ladies and I asked them if I could use them as guest bloggers. Happily they said yes, so here are their responses....

Lindsay:
I think the issue arises because "white" itself isn't a heritage (I'm not really sure what an overarching white heritage would look like). The meaning of what constitutes "white" has changed over time (like in times when Irish and Jewish people were not considered white, for example), and it's based on superiority and exclusion (to be white vs. not to be white). There are a lot of European heritages that white people descend from, and it's okay for people to be proud of that (and many are). Some people will probably still object (there is someone to object about anything), but it would certainly raise less eyebrows.

Danika:

Essentially everyone is absolutely entitled to be proud of your ethnic and cultural heritage (I.e. saying you have Irish Pride or Greek Pride) because when you are saying that, you are celebrating your personal history and culture, a culture that can be in the form of that culture’s history, that cultures food, that cultures clothing, etc.  It is for this reason that you don’t see protests against St. Patrick’s Day parades or other European cultural celebrations because you are celebrating a rich history that is a part of your being.  There is historical and cultural context associated with being proud of your heritage.  For example, I am both Chinese and Irish and I am proud to be a part of both cultures and celebrate both cultures.  But that is the key point, I am celebrating my culture, not skin color.

When someone says they are proud to be white, it gives no context other than the fact that that person is celebrating the color of their skin and, most importantly, being white is not a heritage.  There is no cultural connections and no history to add to support a statement of white pride and instead adds a level of implied superiority, intended or not, because of the history that is associated with statements of white pride (such as white nationalism and Nazi-ism).

It is the reason that most people and most persons of color do not care if a person says they have Irish Pride or Italian pride but feel negatively towards someone who says that they are proud to be white.  All statement says is that they are proud of their skin color and nothing more.  If they need to clarify and say that what they mean is they are proud of X-heritage, then they should say they are proud to be of that heritage.

In short there is nothing wrong saying you are proud of your culture and your heritage because it is a part of what makes You you, not your skin color.

It's called Empathy, Y'All!

Hey Y'all!  I was in Dallas this week for work Training and Planning.  During the training, one of the things we discussed was Empathy - trying to see things from the Client's perspective.  This spilled over into our interpersonal relationships with each other too.  Many of us had never met in person before or had not seen each other in a couple years.  It was very cool in that I got a chance to practice Empathy by having calm, collected conversations with my peers who are from Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, etc.  I think I was the only Californian.

Outside of work hours, we hung out for Breakfast and Dinner and, in addition to talking shop, talked about Gun Control and NFL Player Protests.  Believe it or not, I was not the one who brought up the subjects!  Knowing I was the only Californian, I figured I'd just avoid the subjects of politics and religion when heading out there...  When in Rome, do as Romans do...  I did, however, make one joke when I saw something flash across the screen about "Trump to have a listening session with Parkland Kids" (or something like that).  I just muttered something about, "I hope he really listens and doesn't make it about him or sticks his foot in the mouth."  Everybody pretty much agreed on that (plus it was a semi-joke).

It was interesting when one of my peers mentioned gun control (she has a symbol of an x'ed out AR-15 on her IM Chat), and most of the people at the table were women and agreed that teachers shouldn't necessarily be armed in the classroom.  The guy on my right groaned and I looked at him and said, "I'm guessing this is a conversation you'd like to skip?"  And he said, "I just don't like talking politics or religion because I'm not gonna change anybody else's mind and I doubt mine will change."  We had to get back to work so the discussion was pretty much dropped but it was interesting to note different people's reactions.  It's one thing to argue with people you don't really know online vs having a discussion with people face-to-face.

Another time, one guy mentioned about how his stance on NFL protestors changed from "Well, that is peaceful protest and it's better than rioting" to "Some things should be sacred" because he watched the women's hockey team standing during the National Anthem when they won the Gold.  He had chills run up/down his spine and that was a great feeling.  Another woman said she was totally against the protestors and said, "You just don't do that."  I gave my opinion that I was raised to always say the pledge of allegiance, stand for the anthem etc as a kid... and when I first heard about Kaepernick (since he was a Niner), I groaned... but mostly because I didn't care for his kissing his biceps thing, etc.  But when I learned more about why he was kneeling, I became a supporter.  I mentioned how I know of law-abiding Black men that say being profiled/pulled over/harassed for driving in a nice neighborhood is definitely a thing.  I mentioned how Blacks are incarcerated more often and punished more severely than their White counterparts, and I used the example of how three White kids beat up and permanently disabled a Black homeless man in Fairfield... and were walking free within 10 years.  I know that would not be the same situation if three Black kids did that.  And I mentioned how this was similar to the Olympians who raised their fists in silent protest in the 1960's, and how MLK was highly disliked at one time.  One woman mentioned how her daughter was scared because she saw a Black guy breaking into her car and she can understand people feeling fear.  I didn't go into how that isn't fair to judge all Black people by the actions of one (or a few) because I wanted her to finish what she was saying and practice my Empathy (plus she allowed me to have my say).  The purpose is not for me to have my way, it's to try to understand where others are coming from.  And I'm learning a lot of people's opinions come from how they FEEL.

One person (can't remember who) asked if they thought there was any racism inside the company, and I said I didn't think that was as much of a problem as the gap in pay between men and women.  Granted, I was hired over 20 years ago when it was pretty common practice to pay men more as they were the "breadwinners."  Most of the other women in my age range agreed, and a young Millenial woman said, "If it makes you feel any better, I was initially offered more money than my husband was when we got hired.  I told him he had to renegotiate that figure."  So it looks like there's some progress being done there.

In the end, they were saying that nothing could really be done about racism and sexism... and I said I thought it was important that people have these kinds of conversations in a calm manner because things will only get worse if people "stay in their camps" and don't listen to the other side.  I continued my conversation with the original guy who started the NFL Protest conversation and told him that I'm a Christian, and believe that there's a certain point that prioritizing the Flag and/or Anthem too high can be a form of Idolatry.  I also said I didn't think the nation was necessarily a Christian one at this point, but that was okay with me.  Even though I'm a Christian, I believe in separation of church and state and I believe the country is a melting pot of diverse peoples and cultures.  As a Christian (he said he was too), I believed it was important to treat each other fairly and with care.  He agreed and I think we both walked away from that discussion FEELING better.

At the end of our Training and Planning sessions, the bosses asked us how we FELT about how things went.  This made me realize that, when it comes down to it, a lot of what divides people is how  they FEEL and EMPATHY needs to come into play when trying to find solutions.  This reinforces my need to try and empathize more with other people.  I don't need to try to change their minds, I need to listen to them and (if asked) calmly give my views.

Before I took this trip, I read "Call to Rise" by the former Dallas Police Chief David Brown who discusses how he moved from a skeptic of "Community Policing" to a supporter of it.  Seeing that I'm neither Black nor a Police Officer (but know people who are one and/or both), I wanted to get some insight into this area.

During this trip, I also started reading "Strangers in Their Own Land" which is about a sociologist writer who lives amongst Tea Party Loyalists to get their thoughts and feelings about life in America.  She was raised by a Foreign Service officer who traveled and she learned to live amongst people of other countries and cultures.  In many ways, that is what America is - a land of different cultures... and I'm really looking forward to finishing this book.  I read Hillbilly Elegy which was ok, but it was just one man's experience.  I want to see, from the sociologist's perspective, how her interactions and interviews with several people went.

If any of you actually read this far and truly want to know how the other "side" is feeling, I recommend reading "Call to Rise" and "Strangers in Their Own Land."  In my opinion, people are getting too entrenched into their own camps and digging their heels in.  What used to be political or religious differences of opinions have grown into extreme dislike and contempt for those people who think or feel differently than you.  Get off of Facebook for a bit - read a book, talk to people and LISTEN to them without interrupting.  Stay off Fox/MSNBC/CNN/RushL and just watch the evening News in which they only have 20 minutes (after FF commercials) to give the News without editorializing (I usually watch CBS).  Get your news from the more neutral sources in this chart.   I think you will feel less stressed and more open to hearing others' thoughts and feelings.

Truly Broken Record

The most heart-breaking news this week was the school shooting in Florida.  It's become a broken record with the same platitudes... and mass shootings are happening with such frequency that I think people are becoming numb to it.  Obama said that Sandy Hook really hit him hard, and he tried to pass legislation to make it harder for those with mental illness to get guns.  Well, Trump and Republicans reversed that and are now saying mental illness is the problem, not guns... And that it was the fault of various law enforcement agencies for not following up on it.  There's a grain of truth in the different areas that need improvement, but I don't see why all of these areas can't be worked on.


There's been discussion about how teachers should be armed, or how every school should have armed security.  We have teachers that have to buy some of their own supplies.  How are we going to get funding for all the training, guns, ammo and/or extra security guards?  Honestly, this is a broken record and nobody is really trying to fix it.  You have people getting huge donations from the NRA for their political campaigns.  I'm pretty sure our founding fathers didn't think about these mass shootings with semi-automatic weapons when they wrote the second amendment.  I don't begrudge anybody their rifles, shotguns, handguns that are used for self-defense or hunting/sport.  But shouldn't there be various licenses to get different type of guns?  Kind of like how you need a certain type of driving license to drive a big rig?


Of course those with mental illness and fanatics are the ones shooting up schools, churches, etc.  But to think "it's the people, not the guns" is a ridiculous argument because we all know it's both.  Sure, a truly murderous person can use a knife.  But as they say, "You don't bring a knife to a gunfight."  Why can't we address both gun control along with mental and emotional health?  Why do the gun lobbyists not want to address gun control?  Greed, that's why.  NRA lobbyists are willing to give millions to congress members because it begets them even more money in return.  Common sense gun control is as simple as ensuring you're locking up your guns so the toddler doesn't get a hold of it.  It means not allowing those with mental illness or those with a background of ANY kind of domestic abuse to own a gun.  It means not selling guns over the internet.  It means not selling bumper stocks (or whatever they're called) that turn guns into semi-automatics. 


This is one of the main reasons I went from being politically Independent to Democrat.  The GOP is so busy trying to defend guns (and their NRA funding) that they won't address the issue of common sense gun control.  They aren't even addressing mental health or any of the other things they claim is causing these shootings.  And this is not their only broken record - I'll discuss Healthcare, Immigration, the Deficit another day.  For now, protecting our citizens from homegrown AMERICAN TERRORISTS should be something all citizens can unite on no matter the political leanings... and we're tired of hearing the same old broken record. 

Facebook Fast Reflections

Members of my church (New Life) were called to fast for three weeks to focus on God and on the direction of the church.  Because I'm already trying to lose weight, I didn't want to do a food fast because that seemed to benefit my diet efforts more than my "time with God" efforts.  It's no secret that Facebook is a big time suck, so I decided to do a full Facebook fast and to limit TV time to only after 6 pm (which is still a lot).  By doing this, I was able to spend more time reading the Bible and in prayer.  I may continue to limit Facebook and TV time.

So what did I come away with from this fast?  I did enjoy reading the Bible and praying, so the goal of spending more focused time with God was achieved.  When praying for the direction of New Life, some thoughts did cross my mind that did initially sadden me.  When I first started coming to New Life, it was pretty diverse and that's one of the main factors that drew me.  The other main factor was that they were doing good work in the community.  I wasn't sure if I believed in Jesus so, if I was gong to go to a church, I wanted to at least go to one that helped the community.  They work with Mission Solano which provides shelter and services to homeless people.  Being helpful to the community was a sundae and the diversity was the cherry on top.

A few years ago, New Life finally got a building off I-80 near the Vacaville/Fairfield border.  When I first started attending, they were working out of school gyms and later a warehouse.  It was always the senior pastor's vision to build a church in that type of location, and to reach out to at-risk youth and families.  It may just be my imagination but, after we moved to the building, we seemed to slowly lose some of the cultural and ethnic diversity.  While reflecting on this, it saddened me.  It may have been a simple thing like geography and people no longer wanted to drive further to the new location.  It may have been that many went to other churches - like the one David Cobb (former worship leader) went to or the Father's House which is a large church off of I-80 in Vacaville... or it may be that, like me, they saw the congregation becoming less diverse and didn't feel as comfortable as before.

These thoughts made me reflect on whether I still belong at New Life or if I should seek a more diverse and liberal church... or even go back to one of my SF churches (First Chinese Baptist Church in Chinatown or Sunset Ministry) where my husband might attend too.  Solano County is fairly conservative in Fairfield/Vacaville, so it's no surprise that the New Life congregation is fairly conservative (especially with less POC).  Of course I realize that I now lean very left so, in reality, maybe they're not THAT conservative.  The pastor himself is fairly neutral politically (maybe with a slight left lean) and I like his messages a lot.  After prayers and discussions with my daughters, I've concluded that I should stay with New Life.  It helps me to grow to hear a conservative voice and to try to understand their viewpoints.

And perhaps He wants me there to be the liberal voice... the one to say, "Hey, these NFL players may be rich but they and those they love have been needlessly harassed and/or killed by law enforcement.  Don't listen to the President - they are not protesting the anthem or flag.  They are crying out for justice."  I actually did have this conversation with some friends over coffee after church one day.  It was uncomfortable for me because I know I was in the minority in my opinion, but I did feel called to say it.  Most people my age (and older) were raised to stand and say the pledge of allegiance and it was ingrained in us.  And so most people form their opinions off of their experiences only.  They don't always look at the indignities and injustices others have to suffer.  That's human nature and I don't blame them; but perhaps I'm here to give a differing viewpoint.

The rest of my free time was spent working for the ACLU People Power Texting Team for events around the country.  I also went to the Women's March in SF with my friends... and I spent more time on my bicycle where I often have good conversations with God and/or listen to KLOVE and NPR.  I've cleaned up my Apple News Feeds to remove CNN and FOX; and focused on Reuters, AP, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal.

I've decided to spend less time arguing on Facebook because people rarely change their minds or even really want to know what others are thinking.  They just want to fight; and I don't want to be one of those people.  I'll still comment on other people's posts who have similar views as me, but I'll be scrolling past the inflammatory pro-Trump posts I see (clearly some people can't/won't hear a liberal view).  And I'll still post a few of my opinions and thoughts along the way to show that there are some Christians who don't support Trump or his administration.  That there are some of us that think like John Pavlovitz - we want equal rights and justice for women, LGBTQ, people of color.  We don't want large corporations to get large tax breaks and then layoff people or offshore jobs.  We realize that many people in America were descended from dreamers or slaves, and don't believe these myths about refugees (ironically from Mike Pence's home state of Indiana).

I will also try to spend more time on this blog because I've found it interesting to look back and read some of the things I posted in the past.  I don't get much traffic here but, even if just one person learns that there are Christians who don't support Trump-type views, then it's worth the effort.

(Update 2/11 - After greeting for first service, I saw quite a few new POC... Which makes me think that perhaps I simply miss some people that no longer attend New Life.)

Reasons I don’t like Trump

I had a phone conversation with a friend last night and she truly didn’t know why there was so much animosity towards Trump and his supporters.  Needless to say, it was a long conversation (because we also discussed more pleasant things), but here are some of my reasons that I don’t like Trump and/or his Promises.

Inflammatory Rhetoric and Name-Calling towards other leaders here and abroad - not bringing The Nation together (like he said he would) and could be starting up a new World War with Middle East and North Korea.  There’s more at risk than just America.  As a Christian,  I am more concerned about the world and how peace is at risk.

America First - In addition to my love of the world, let’s talk economics which is what this slogan is really about.  We will now be taking the backseat to China with alternative energy.  The “Industrial Age” of manufacturing and coal are on the downside of their peak.  Even if you don’t believe in climate change, you need to hurt the environment in order to access coal and fossil fuels, not to mention water sources on the land of Native Americans (who were, btw, the First Americans).  Alternative Energy is the future for job growth because even IT jobs are going overseas (not just manufacturing).  It won’t be America First if he continues to insist on promoting coal and gas only.  The only hope I have is that California is still staying in the game; and the automakers have to make cars that can be used here because we makeup a large portion of the auto consumers.

Demeans People of Color - Called NFL players (majority of them Black) SOB’s when they are merely peacefully protesting.  Their intent is not to protest the flag and anthem, and yet he’s insisting they are.  They are protesting the police harrassment and killing of unarmed black people.  Many black males I’ve spoken to have been needlessly pulled over for driving in a nice neighborhood in a nice car.  Many blacks are incarcerated for longer periods of time than their white counterparts for similar crimes.

Drain the Swamp - He went and put in people ill-suited for the jobs as you can tell from the number that have gone through his revolving door.  Some of them like Jeff Sessions are also known racists.  Not to mention an oil guy for the EPA, a private school person for Education, etc.  I come from a family of Educators and I don’t like how this Administration is trying to privatize public schools.  If you have the time and/or money to put your kid in private school (or home school), that’s your business.  But many parents don’t have that luxury.  Even if you give them vouchers, the schools can still descriminate and pick the “best” students.

The Wall - Mexico has made clear they’re not gonna pay for it, so now we know the taxpayers will... So how is that going to be funded when corporations pay so much less?  And how will that impact social services?  A wall didn’t work in China and it won’t work here. 

Favors Banks and Big Corporations - We talked about how he’s lifted restrictions on the banks again and they may just get the country in another “Too Big to Fail” bind again.  The tax cuts (from 35 to 20%) for huge corporations will not bring jobs back - it will only trickle down to their shareholders.  In order to lower their taxes as well as build the wall, social services and infrastructure will likely suffer.

DACA - Another “good thing” Obama has put in place that he flip flopped on whether he’d find a way to let them stay.  Again, this country was built on immigrants and these kids can’t help that they were brought here as children and is the only real country they know.  In his day, my grandfather was a Dreamer Kid.

Dog Whistle Rhetoric - He uses dog whistle rhetoric to stir up his fans.  Black NFL Players are SOBs and unpatriotic for protesting, White Nationalists are very fine people, calls women he thinks are pigs, etc. This isnt even mentioning how he rose in popularity back when he accused Obama for not being born in America.  These are not-so-subtle examples of how he stirs up hate within his fan base, and that’s why many people don’t like Trump supporters - because they support all he stands for.

Anti-Obama - He tries to undo anything Obama did, whether good or bad.  Let’s start with the Affordable Care Act.  It isn’t perfect and needs work but, as you can see, even the Republicans can’t put something together even though they have the majority.  They need to work together to improve on it... but they’re bent on destroying it because Obama had anything to do with it.  I’ve actually heard people say they like the Affordable Care Act but not Obamacare - as if they don’t realize they’re the same darn thing. As mentioned above, he’s trying to get rid of DACA... and it went so far as lifting the ban on elephant trophies (which thankfully he stopped after a lot of outcry).  Trump even had an obsession with crowd size because Obama’s crowd was so large - it’s ridiculous and petty. 

Claims to be Christian - He’s very un-Christlike in behavior and exercises no wisdom or humility.  He’s swindled people in business, claimed bankruptcies numerous times, cheated on wives, physically manhandled (and possibly raped) one of his wives, 15+ accusations of sexual abuse, calls women he doesn’t like derogatory or racist-based names (Pocahontas), bragged about “Grab them by the p***y,” etc.  Whether he’s really Christian or not is between him and God, but he would do well to “Get Love Right” as we say at New Life.  We touched on how 80% of White Evangelicals voted for him.   Honestly, I’m not sure that’s true (I’m hoping not), but it’s a very scary thought.

I could go on and on (and I haven’t even touched the Russia stuff because I am allowing Mueller to finish his investigation), but these are just a few of the reasons I don’t like this President.  I think he’s stirs up animosity towards people of color and has abused women. Many people, Independents as well as Liberals, think the same of him and can’t understand why anybody would condone/support him.  

You asked me why people feel so much animosity towards Trump supporters.  The short answer is that we find him to be a mean, petty, hateful person who looks out only for his (wealthy) interests.  Trump supporters seem to enjoy his bragging (even if they’re lies) and mean-spirited words... so there’s animosity towards anybody who seems to reward/support him or, worse yet, repeat his hateful rhetoric (calling Liberals libtards, snowflakes etc).

I understand the animosity goes both ways, and I try to be civil and polite in my discussions because we can’t unify until people start being decent to one another again.  Some people mock my being “politically correct,” but I will still try to be polite and civil anyway.  Christians are commanded to love our neighbors (not just American neighbors).

Con ‘n Cheat

I posted something on FB and a friend asked why I call Trump a Con ‘n Cheat (she thought it was over the top).  My response:

LOL I actually thought the phrase “Con ‘n Cheat” was probably too kind considering what I actually think... and considering he has the nerve to call peaceful protestors SOB’s.

In this particular video he says, “I told you that we would be saying Merry Christmas again...  With Trump as your President, we are going to be celebrating Merry Christmas again.”  This is implying that his predecessor was against it.  Yes, he also talked about department stores, but he’s talking about general society as if people stopped celebrating or saying Merry Christmas until he became President.  That’s just ridiculous on so many levels - nobody has ever told me to say or not say Merry Christmas when I was an agnostic or when I was a Christian.  I worked in retail and I said whatever phrase I wanted - Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, whatever.  And people can say whatever holiday greeting they want to me and I’m not offended.

But this video isn’t the reason I call him a Con ‘n Cheat.  I call him that because of how he’s cheated on multiple wives (and physically assaulted one), how he’s cheated people in business, how he’s conned people with his Trump University, and how he’s conned enough people in America to vote for him.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.

This Washington Post editorial best explains my “Con ‘n Cheat” opinion.  My opinion only differs in that I don’t necessarily think the American worker will catch on because he pushes all their right buttons.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/american-workers-will-catch-on-to-trumps-con/2017/09/03/21dyieri-90e0-11e7-8754-d478688d23b4_story.html?utm_term=.c9a8e3bda143

This Snopes Article talks about his abuses on women including his ex-wife.  Snopes DOES say there is a mixture of truth/false and, although he may not have raped her, he definitely manhandled her and puller her hair.: http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-rape-sexual-assault-minor-wife-business-victims-roy-moore-713531

Here is WP’s Fact Checker on Trump.  It’s one thing to lie here and there or by accident, but he does it so often and acts as if he’s telling the truth... and people for some reason believe him.  It’s the same with Hannity, Limbaugh, Breitbart, etc.  It’s the same rule book - act like you’re being attacked and people will believe your lies.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/politics/trump-claims-database/?utm_term=.859d6ec225fb

Who’s Truly Crazy?

A Facebook friend posted a Fox News segment about “Who’s Truly Crazy” and a nice non-Christian woman asked the original poster to expand on the spiritual (paraphrased).  Here’s how I responded:

JQ, I’m a former political independent and religious agnostic that believed in a higher power, but did not necessarily believe Jesus was the son of God etc.  I’m now politicially Democratic and a Christian, and I try to show non-believers that not all Christians support this President or his agenda.

Some Christians do want to support refugees who are fleeing murderous governmental regimes (sanctuary cities were started by the churches in the 1990’s), support helping families through welfare and other programs (being pro-life should be more than just pro-fetus) and want equal rights and justice for all people (no matter race or religion or sexuality).  There are Christians that want to reach people with love instead of judgment.  

There are some people that think we should pray for Trump, but I pray that God grant all world leaders wisdom and humility.    I don’t pray for Trump specifically because I don’t believe his plan necessarily syncs up with God’s plan.  If God grants him wisdom and humility, that would be great (same with Kim Jong Un); but I’m not holding my breath for it.

America is built on checks and balances and I’m praying that the other leaders of this nation can keep Trump under control.  I do say specific prayers for James Mattis as he oversees our military personnel... and I pray that Mueller gets to the bottom of all this Russia stuff once and for all.

Who’s truly crazy?  Time will tell.  From my viewpoint, it’s a mistake for Christians to hold up Trump as an example of a good Christian.  It’s showing non-believers that Christians support a racist misogynist who thinks there are “very fine people” among neo-Nazis and brags about grabbing women by the p**y.  He is right about one thing though - he could shoot somebody in broad daylight and still have ardent followers.

Who’s truly crazy?  I say it’s the ones that believe all his lies as well as the fake Russian Facebook posts and conspiracy theories... the ones who lap up the rhetoric of Breitbart/Bannon/Yiannopolas, Hannity, Limbaugh, etc without trying to listen to those at the New York Times, Washington Post and other news sources who brought down Nixon.

Anyway, Jenny, please don’t think that every Christian is Republican, judgmental and supports this President.  We don’t all think “America First.”  There are some that simply love God and our neighbors.

Why We Resist

I was on Facebook and somebody wanted to know why my friend had so much “hatred.”  My friend Vicki has been very vocal about her resistance to Trump and his agenda, and another friend stated she didn’t like the negativity and wanted to know when it would stop (paraphrased).  Here’s my response that I wanted to keep here:

I talked with Vicki and agreed that we are kind of the yin and yang of our message. She is trying to reach Evangelicals who hold Trump up as an example of a good man and support him no matter his words and actions. I am trying to reach out to non believers so that they know that not all Christians support him (despite the fact that 80 percent of White Evangelicals voted for him) and many don’t consider him a good Christian role model.

We all should agree that sexual predators are on both sides of the aisle and should be condemned - but Trump doesn’t really.  He’s now even made comments that the Access Hollywood tapes were “fake” even though he acknowledged and apologized for it a year ago.

But our resistance to Trump’s platform is against not just his sexual predatory and racist comments; it’s also against his trying to force through corporate tax breaks (when trickle down economics don’t work), Muslim bans, Law Enforcement policies that target people of color who are already being mistreated, etc.  While people voted for him because he’s against abortion (understandable), they don’t realize that they also need to make resources available to women so that they can raise their kids to adulthood.  You can’t be truly “Pro-Life” unless you are willing to help them out through welfare, WIC, and other programs.

I can’t speak for Vicki, but I pray for ALL the world leaders (not just US) - I pray that God grant them Wisdom and Humility and those qualities seem to be sorely lacking in Trump. Praying for our leaders doesn’t mean that we need to support Trump - after all, God did harden Pharaoh’s heart to show how great His power is when the Hebrews went on their Exodus.  I sometimes think maybe He’s hardened Trump’s heart and other Christians’ hearts who still think “America First” instead of “Love God and Love Your Neighbor.”  People like Vicki and I can’t turn away and ignore these things.  Yes, God is good and there are lots of excellent things in the world...  but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them better.  Martin Luther King Jr was a minister and an activist - a great example of how to do both at once.