Hey Y'all! I was in Dallas this week for work Training and Planning. During the training, one of the things we discussed was Empathy - trying to see things from the Client's perspective. This spilled over into our interpersonal relationships with each other too. Many of us had never met in person before or had not seen each other in a couple years. It was very cool in that I got a chance to practice Empathy by having calm, collected conversations with my peers who are from Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, etc. I think I was the only Californian.
Outside of work hours, we hung out for Breakfast and Dinner and, in addition to talking shop, talked about Gun Control and NFL Player Protests. Believe it or not, I was not the one who brought up the subjects! Knowing I was the only Californian, I figured I'd just avoid the subjects of politics and religion when heading out there... When in Rome, do as Romans do... I did, however, make one joke when I saw something flash across the screen about "Trump to have a listening session with Parkland Kids" (or something like that). I just muttered something about, "I hope he really listens and doesn't make it about him or sticks his foot in the mouth." Everybody pretty much agreed on that (plus it was a semi-joke).
It was interesting when one of my peers mentioned gun control (she has a symbol of an x'ed out AR-15 on her IM Chat), and most of the people at the table were women and agreed that teachers shouldn't necessarily be armed in the classroom. The guy on my right groaned and I looked at him and said, "I'm guessing this is a conversation you'd like to skip?" And he said, "I just don't like talking politics or religion because I'm not gonna change anybody else's mind and I doubt mine will change." We had to get back to work so the discussion was pretty much dropped but it was interesting to note different people's reactions. It's one thing to argue with people you don't really know online vs having a discussion with people face-to-face.
Another time, one guy mentioned about how his stance on NFL protestors changed from "Well, that is peaceful protest and it's better than rioting" to "Some things should be sacred" because he watched the women's hockey team standing during the National Anthem when they won the Gold. He had chills run up/down his spine and that was a great feeling. Another woman said she was totally against the protestors and said, "You just don't do that." I gave my opinion that I was raised to always say the pledge of allegiance, stand for the anthem etc as a kid... and when I first heard about Kaepernick (since he was a Niner), I groaned... but mostly because I didn't care for his kissing his biceps thing, etc. But when I learned more about why he was kneeling, I became a supporter. I mentioned how I know of law-abiding Black men that say being profiled/pulled over/harassed for driving in a nice neighborhood is definitely a thing. I mentioned how Blacks are incarcerated more often and punished more severely than their White counterparts, and I used the example of how three White kids beat up and permanently disabled a Black homeless man in Fairfield... and were walking free within 10 years. I know that would not be the same situation if three Black kids did that. And I mentioned how this was similar to the Olympians who raised their fists in silent protest in the 1960's, and how MLK was highly disliked at one time. One woman mentioned how her daughter was scared because she saw a Black guy breaking into her car and she can understand people feeling fear. I didn't go into how that isn't fair to judge all Black people by the actions of one (or a few) because I wanted her to finish what she was saying and practice my Empathy (plus she allowed me to have my say). The purpose is not for me to have my way, it's to try to understand where others are coming from. And I'm learning a lot of people's opinions come from how they FEEL.
One person (can't remember who) asked if they thought there was any racism inside the company, and I said I didn't think that was as much of a problem as the gap in pay between men and women. Granted, I was hired over 20 years ago when it was pretty common practice to pay men more as they were the "breadwinners." Most of the other women in my age range agreed, and a young Millenial woman said, "If it makes you feel any better, I was initially offered more money than my husband was when we got hired. I told him he had to renegotiate that figure." So it looks like there's some progress being done there.
In the end, they were saying that nothing could really be done about racism and sexism... and I said I thought it was important that people have these kinds of conversations in a calm manner because things will only get worse if people "stay in their camps" and don't listen to the other side. I continued my conversation with the original guy who started the NFL Protest conversation and told him that I'm a Christian, and believe that there's a certain point that prioritizing the Flag and/or Anthem too high can be a form of Idolatry. I also said I didn't think the nation was necessarily a Christian one at this point, but that was okay with me. Even though I'm a Christian, I believe in separation of church and state and I believe the country is a melting pot of diverse peoples and cultures. As a Christian (he said he was too), I believed it was important to treat each other fairly and with care. He agreed and I think we both walked away from that discussion FEELING better.
At the end of our Training and Planning sessions, the bosses asked us how we FELT about how things went. This made me realize that, when it comes down to it, a lot of what divides people is how they FEEL and EMPATHY needs to come into play when trying to find solutions. This reinforces my need to try and empathize more with other people. I don't need to try to change their minds, I need to listen to them and (if asked) calmly give my views.
Before I took this trip, I read "Call to Rise" by the former Dallas Police Chief David Brown who discusses how he moved from a skeptic of "Community Policing" to a supporter of it. Seeing that I'm neither Black nor a Police Officer (but know people who are one and/or both), I wanted to get some insight into this area.
During this trip, I also started reading "Strangers in Their Own Land" which is about a sociologist writer who lives amongst Tea Party Loyalists to get their thoughts and feelings about life in America. She was raised by a Foreign Service officer who traveled and she learned to live amongst people of other countries and cultures. In many ways, that is what America is - a land of different cultures... and I'm really looking forward to finishing this book. I read Hillbilly Elegy which was ok, but it was just one man's experience. I want to see, from the sociologist's perspective, how her interactions and interviews with several people went.
If any of you actually read this far and truly want to know how the other "side" is feeling, I recommend reading "Call to Rise" and "Strangers in Their Own Land." In my opinion, people are getting too entrenched into their own camps and digging their heels in. What used to be political or religious differences of opinions have grown into extreme dislike and contempt for those people who think or feel differently than you. Get off of Facebook for a bit - read a book, talk to people and LISTEN to them without interrupting. Stay off Fox/MSNBC/CNN/RushL and just watch the evening News in which they only have 20 minutes (after FF commercials) to give the News without editorializing (I usually watch CBS). Get your news from the more neutral sources in this chart. I think you will feel less stressed and more open to hearing others' thoughts and feelings.
Saturday, February 24, 2018
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Truly Broken Record
The most heart-breaking news this week was the school shooting in Florida. It's become a broken record with the same platitudes... and mass shootings are happening with such frequency that I think people are becoming numb to it. Obama said that Sandy Hook really hit him hard, and he tried to pass legislation to make it harder for those with mental illness to get guns. Well, Trump and Republicans reversed that and are now saying mental illness is the problem, not guns... And that it was the fault of various law enforcement agencies for not following up on it. There's a grain of truth in the different areas that need improvement, but I don't see why all of these areas can't be worked on.
There's been discussion about how teachers should be armed, or how every school should have armed security. We have teachers that have to buy some of their own supplies. How are we going to get funding for all the training, guns, ammo and/or extra security guards? Honestly, this is a broken record and nobody is really trying to fix it. You have people getting huge donations from the NRA for their political campaigns. I'm pretty sure our founding fathers didn't think about these mass shootings with semi-automatic weapons when they wrote the second amendment. I don't begrudge anybody their rifles, shotguns, handguns that are used for self-defense or hunting/sport. But shouldn't there be various licenses to get different type of guns? Kind of like how you need a certain type of driving license to drive a big rig?
Of course those with mental illness and fanatics are the ones shooting up schools, churches, etc. But to think "it's the people, not the guns" is a ridiculous argument because we all know it's both. Sure, a truly murderous person can use a knife. But as they say, "You don't bring a knife to a gunfight." Why can't we address both gun control along with mental and emotional health? Why do the gun lobbyists not want to address gun control? Greed, that's why. NRA lobbyists are willing to give millions to congress members because it begets them even more money in return. Common sense gun control is as simple as ensuring you're locking up your guns so the toddler doesn't get a hold of it. It means not allowing those with mental illness or those with a background of ANY kind of domestic abuse to own a gun. It means not selling guns over the internet. It means not selling bumper stocks (or whatever they're called) that turn guns into semi-automatics.
This is one of the main reasons I went from being politically Independent to Democrat. The GOP is so busy trying to defend guns (and their NRA funding) that they won't address the issue of common sense gun control. They aren't even addressing mental health or any of the other things they claim is causing these shootings. And this is not their only broken record - I'll discuss Healthcare, Immigration, the Deficit another day. For now, protecting our citizens from homegrown AMERICAN TERRORISTS should be something all citizens can unite on no matter the political leanings... and we're tired of hearing the same old broken record.
There's been discussion about how teachers should be armed, or how every school should have armed security. We have teachers that have to buy some of their own supplies. How are we going to get funding for all the training, guns, ammo and/or extra security guards? Honestly, this is a broken record and nobody is really trying to fix it. You have people getting huge donations from the NRA for their political campaigns. I'm pretty sure our founding fathers didn't think about these mass shootings with semi-automatic weapons when they wrote the second amendment. I don't begrudge anybody their rifles, shotguns, handguns that are used for self-defense or hunting/sport. But shouldn't there be various licenses to get different type of guns? Kind of like how you need a certain type of driving license to drive a big rig?
Of course those with mental illness and fanatics are the ones shooting up schools, churches, etc. But to think "it's the people, not the guns" is a ridiculous argument because we all know it's both. Sure, a truly murderous person can use a knife. But as they say, "You don't bring a knife to a gunfight." Why can't we address both gun control along with mental and emotional health? Why do the gun lobbyists not want to address gun control? Greed, that's why. NRA lobbyists are willing to give millions to congress members because it begets them even more money in return. Common sense gun control is as simple as ensuring you're locking up your guns so the toddler doesn't get a hold of it. It means not allowing those with mental illness or those with a background of ANY kind of domestic abuse to own a gun. It means not selling guns over the internet. It means not selling bumper stocks (or whatever they're called) that turn guns into semi-automatics.
This is one of the main reasons I went from being politically Independent to Democrat. The GOP is so busy trying to defend guns (and their NRA funding) that they won't address the issue of common sense gun control. They aren't even addressing mental health or any of the other things they claim is causing these shootings. And this is not their only broken record - I'll discuss Healthcare, Immigration, the Deficit another day. For now, protecting our citizens from homegrown AMERICAN TERRORISTS should be something all citizens can unite on no matter the political leanings... and we're tired of hearing the same old broken record.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
Facebook Fast Reflections
Members of my church (New Life) were called to fast for three weeks to focus on God and on the direction of the church. Because I'm already trying to lose weight, I didn't want to do a food fast because that seemed to benefit my diet efforts more than my "time with God" efforts. It's no secret that Facebook is a big time suck, so I decided to do a full Facebook fast and to limit TV time to only after 6 pm (which is still a lot). By doing this, I was able to spend more time reading the Bible and in prayer. I may continue to limit Facebook and TV time.
So what did I come away with from this fast? I did enjoy reading the Bible and praying, so the goal of spending more focused time with God was achieved. When praying for the direction of New Life, some thoughts did cross my mind that did initially sadden me. When I first started coming to New Life, it was pretty diverse and that's one of the main factors that drew me. The other main factor was that they were doing good work in the community. I wasn't sure if I believed in Jesus so, if I was gong to go to a church, I wanted to at least go to one that helped the community. They work with Mission Solano which provides shelter and services to homeless people. Being helpful to the community was a sundae and the diversity was the cherry on top.
A few years ago, New Life finally got a building off I-80 near the Vacaville/Fairfield border. When I first started attending, they were working out of school gyms and later a warehouse. It was always the senior pastor's vision to build a church in that type of location, and to reach out to at-risk youth and families. It may just be my imagination but, after we moved to the building, we seemed to slowly lose some of the cultural and ethnic diversity. While reflecting on this, it saddened me. It may have been a simple thing like geography and people no longer wanted to drive further to the new location. It may have been that many went to other churches - like the one David Cobb (former worship leader) went to or the Father's House which is a large church off of I-80 in Vacaville... or it may be that, like me, they saw the congregation becoming less diverse and didn't feel as comfortable as before.
These thoughts made me reflect on whether I still belong at New Life or if I should seek a more diverse and liberal church... or even go back to one of my SF churches (First Chinese Baptist Church in Chinatown or Sunset Ministry) where my husband might attend too. Solano County is fairly conservative in Fairfield/Vacaville, so it's no surprise that the New Life congregation is fairly conservative (especially with less POC). Of course I realize that I now lean very left so, in reality, maybe they're not THAT conservative. The pastor himself is fairly neutral politically (maybe with a slight left lean) and I like his messages a lot. After prayers and discussions with my daughters, I've concluded that I should stay with New Life. It helps me to grow to hear a conservative voice and to try to understand their viewpoints.
And perhaps He wants me there to be the liberal voice... the one to say, "Hey, these NFL players may be rich but they and those they love have been needlessly harassed and/or killed by law enforcement. Don't listen to the President - they are not protesting the anthem or flag. They are crying out for justice." I actually did have this conversation with some friends over coffee after church one day. It was uncomfortable for me because I know I was in the minority in my opinion, but I did feel called to say it. Most people my age (and older) were raised to stand and say the pledge of allegiance and it was ingrained in us. And so most people form their opinions off of their experiences only. They don't always look at the indignities and injustices others have to suffer. That's human nature and I don't blame them; but perhaps I'm here to give a differing viewpoint.
The rest of my free time was spent working for the ACLU People Power Texting Team for events around the country. I also went to the Women's March in SF with my friends... and I spent more time on my bicycle where I often have good conversations with God and/or listen to KLOVE and NPR. I've cleaned up my Apple News Feeds to remove CNN and FOX; and focused on Reuters, AP, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal.
I've decided to spend less time arguing on Facebook because people rarely change their minds or even really want to know what others are thinking. They just want to fight; and I don't want to be one of those people. I'll still comment on other people's posts who have similar views as me, but I'll be scrolling past the inflammatory pro-Trump posts I see (clearly some people can't/won't hear a liberal view). And I'll still post a few of my opinions and thoughts along the way to show that there are some Christians who don't support Trump or his administration. That there are some of us that think like John Pavlovitz - we want equal rights and justice for women, LGBTQ, people of color. We don't want large corporations to get large tax breaks and then layoff people or offshore jobs. We realize that many people in America were descended from dreamers or slaves, and don't believe these myths about refugees (ironically from Mike Pence's home state of Indiana).
I will also try to spend more time on this blog because I've found it interesting to look back and read some of the things I posted in the past. I don't get much traffic here but, even if just one person learns that there are Christians who don't support Trump-type views, then it's worth the effort.
(Update 2/11 - After greeting for first service, I saw quite a few new POC... Which makes me think that perhaps I simply miss some people that no longer attend New Life.)
So what did I come away with from this fast? I did enjoy reading the Bible and praying, so the goal of spending more focused time with God was achieved. When praying for the direction of New Life, some thoughts did cross my mind that did initially sadden me. When I first started coming to New Life, it was pretty diverse and that's one of the main factors that drew me. The other main factor was that they were doing good work in the community. I wasn't sure if I believed in Jesus so, if I was gong to go to a church, I wanted to at least go to one that helped the community. They work with Mission Solano which provides shelter and services to homeless people. Being helpful to the community was a sundae and the diversity was the cherry on top.
A few years ago, New Life finally got a building off I-80 near the Vacaville/Fairfield border. When I first started attending, they were working out of school gyms and later a warehouse. It was always the senior pastor's vision to build a church in that type of location, and to reach out to at-risk youth and families. It may just be my imagination but, after we moved to the building, we seemed to slowly lose some of the cultural and ethnic diversity. While reflecting on this, it saddened me. It may have been a simple thing like geography and people no longer wanted to drive further to the new location. It may have been that many went to other churches - like the one David Cobb (former worship leader) went to or the Father's House which is a large church off of I-80 in Vacaville... or it may be that, like me, they saw the congregation becoming less diverse and didn't feel as comfortable as before.
These thoughts made me reflect on whether I still belong at New Life or if I should seek a more diverse and liberal church... or even go back to one of my SF churches (First Chinese Baptist Church in Chinatown or Sunset Ministry) where my husband might attend too. Solano County is fairly conservative in Fairfield/Vacaville, so it's no surprise that the New Life congregation is fairly conservative (especially with less POC). Of course I realize that I now lean very left so, in reality, maybe they're not THAT conservative. The pastor himself is fairly neutral politically (maybe with a slight left lean) and I like his messages a lot. After prayers and discussions with my daughters, I've concluded that I should stay with New Life. It helps me to grow to hear a conservative voice and to try to understand their viewpoints.
And perhaps He wants me there to be the liberal voice... the one to say, "Hey, these NFL players may be rich but they and those they love have been needlessly harassed and/or killed by law enforcement. Don't listen to the President - they are not protesting the anthem or flag. They are crying out for justice." I actually did have this conversation with some friends over coffee after church one day. It was uncomfortable for me because I know I was in the minority in my opinion, but I did feel called to say it. Most people my age (and older) were raised to stand and say the pledge of allegiance and it was ingrained in us. And so most people form their opinions off of their experiences only. They don't always look at the indignities and injustices others have to suffer. That's human nature and I don't blame them; but perhaps I'm here to give a differing viewpoint.
The rest of my free time was spent working for the ACLU People Power Texting Team for events around the country. I also went to the Women's March in SF with my friends... and I spent more time on my bicycle where I often have good conversations with God and/or listen to KLOVE and NPR. I've cleaned up my Apple News Feeds to remove CNN and FOX; and focused on Reuters, AP, New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal.
I've decided to spend less time arguing on Facebook because people rarely change their minds or even really want to know what others are thinking. They just want to fight; and I don't want to be one of those people. I'll still comment on other people's posts who have similar views as me, but I'll be scrolling past the inflammatory pro-Trump posts I see (clearly some people can't/won't hear a liberal view). And I'll still post a few of my opinions and thoughts along the way to show that there are some Christians who don't support Trump or his administration. That there are some of us that think like John Pavlovitz - we want equal rights and justice for women, LGBTQ, people of color. We don't want large corporations to get large tax breaks and then layoff people or offshore jobs. We realize that many people in America were descended from dreamers or slaves, and don't believe these myths about refugees (ironically from Mike Pence's home state of Indiana).
I will also try to spend more time on this blog because I've found it interesting to look back and read some of the things I posted in the past. I don't get much traffic here but, even if just one person learns that there are Christians who don't support Trump-type views, then it's worth the effort.
(Update 2/11 - After greeting for first service, I saw quite a few new POC... Which makes me think that perhaps I simply miss some people that no longer attend New Life.)
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