I thought I'd take a moment and explain why I titled my blog what I did. A few years ago, I was driving my vanpool, and one of the riders didn't know I was a Christian until I mentioned church in passing. I had already known this guy for 5-6 years, so I wasn't sure what his non-awareness meant. Did it mean that, since I was normal and could have fun and am fairly non-judgemental, he assumed I didn't go to church? Or did it mean that I behaved so poorly that he figured there was no way I could be a Christian without being smited down?
Either way, my response was, "No kidding, I'm a Christian."
I, like many others, sometimes struggle with my tendency to "misbehave." Now I realize that we are saved by grace, but that doesn't give me free rein to do whatever I please. While I am by no means perfect, and enjoy my R rated TV shows like Sopranos etc, I do think I have made some changes in my life. Looking back, I can see that it's been quite a while since I got drunk or smoked a doob. Some folks may think that's no big deal, but for me that really is quite a change-up... And I really didn't even TRY to stop... I guess Jesus did that for me... Made it easy for me to not even want to. While I think marijuana should be legalized, I probably still won't smoke it since I really don't have any big urge to. So I guess it's these little ironies about me that made my Christianity a surprise to my friend. I hope I can show non-church-goers that being Christian doesn't stop people like me from being fun or accepting of others.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
My first real Christmas Tree?
My mom always put up a great Christmas tree with lights, handmade ornaments, and lots of other decorations... and baked lots of yummy cookies to make the holidays special. After having my kids, I had a 6-foot artificial tree that I put up every year... but then the cat started messing with it and I got rid of that on Craigslist, and got this small tabletop tree. I decorated it most years, but I might have to call this my first REAL Christmas tree because it wasn't until this year (these past few months, actually) that I felt comfortable calling myself a Christian.
My folks grew up in SF Chinatown and met and got married at the First Chinese Baptist Church. They moved to Richmond before I was born and my dad found golf. I think they still believe in a higher being, but don't link Him/Her/It to a Christian God... and that's basically how I was up until recently. They sent me to FCBC with my aunt and uncle every week, and I made lots of friends there and Sunset Ministry that are still very close to me. Since then, I've gone to church religiously but never really examined what I actually believe.
When my best friend's husband died, she asked me if I thought he was in heaven. I remembered that Jesus taught, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." This gave me pause when I answered my cousin. At the time, my heart and my mouth said her hubby was with God, but I later went home and questioned my beliefs (or lack thereof).
This made me want to find a church close to home that I could go to, and I found New Life Church. I've been attending there for about 5 years now and have joined a few small groups. In this latest group, we were going in a circle and telling each other how we came to Christ. When it was my turn, I said, "Pass." Everybody else seemed to have their story down and their BELIEF in Christ down pat. I was in a place where I believed in God and was trying to study the Bible... but was not quite buying the whole "Jesus is the son of God and our saviour" thing. After that meeting, I exchanged a few emails with Pastor Jon and he recommended some reading for me to do in my search for answers. Some of my questions were:
I made my way through various books, but Lee Stroebel's "Case for Christ" and "Case for Faith" helped me put many of my questions to rest. Stroebel was an atheist and journalist. Having been a journalism major myself, I liked his writing style and his investigative reporting thought process. They say that losing weight isn't as hard as keeping it off. I'm one of those people that have a hard time losing weight in the first place... and it took me a long time to get to the place where I can comfortably call myself a Christian. Now I'll find out how hard it is to follow His steps, and I thought I'd start blogging my journey here.
Merry Christmas!
My folks grew up in SF Chinatown and met and got married at the First Chinese Baptist Church. They moved to Richmond before I was born and my dad found golf. I think they still believe in a higher being, but don't link Him/Her/It to a Christian God... and that's basically how I was up until recently. They sent me to FCBC with my aunt and uncle every week, and I made lots of friends there and Sunset Ministry that are still very close to me. Since then, I've gone to church religiously but never really examined what I actually believe.
When my best friend's husband died, she asked me if I thought he was in heaven. I remembered that Jesus taught, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." This gave me pause when I answered my cousin. At the time, my heart and my mouth said her hubby was with God, but I later went home and questioned my beliefs (or lack thereof).
This made me want to find a church close to home that I could go to, and I found New Life Church. I've been attending there for about 5 years now and have joined a few small groups. In this latest group, we were going in a circle and telling each other how we came to Christ. When it was my turn, I said, "Pass." Everybody else seemed to have their story down and their BELIEF in Christ down pat. I was in a place where I believed in God and was trying to study the Bible... but was not quite buying the whole "Jesus is the son of God and our saviour" thing. After that meeting, I exchanged a few emails with Pastor Jon and he recommended some reading for me to do in my search for answers. Some of my questions were:
Is the Bible really God's word? Or is it different people's interpretation of what they think God's word should be?
Why did God have a chosen people if we're all His children?
Did God really condone all those wars in the Old Testament? Does He condone it now? How can war be okay when "Thou shalt not kill" was one of the biggie commandments?
Do good people go to hell if they don't believe in Jesus?
I made my way through various books, but Lee Stroebel's "Case for Christ" and "Case for Faith" helped me put many of my questions to rest. Stroebel was an atheist and journalist. Having been a journalism major myself, I liked his writing style and his investigative reporting thought process. They say that losing weight isn't as hard as keeping it off. I'm one of those people that have a hard time losing weight in the first place... and it took me a long time to get to the place where I can comfortably call myself a Christian. Now I'll find out how hard it is to follow His steps, and I thought I'd start blogging my journey here.
Merry Christmas!
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