Transfer of Membership Testimony

Today my membership from Sunset Ministry to First Chinese Baptist Church of SF was approved in the membership meeting. I was a little surprised to learn that I would need to attend classes for this transfer but, in retrospect, I enjoyed it a lot while learning a few things too!  In addition to the class, I and others who are getting baptized or transferring membership have to share testimonies at today’s membership meeting.  Because I know I tend to lose things, I thought I’d put my testimony into this blog for safekeeping.  Here goes….

Hi,  I’m Karen and I first started coming to church with my Uncle Charcoal when I was in Jr High.  He invited me to Youth Camp, so I thought I should go to church to meet some of the other kids before being thrown into a camp with them for a week.  It was there that I met Becky Chuck Lessler who was my first Sunday School Teacher.  Like most teens, I had a blast at camp, made lifelong friends and kept riding in from Richmond/El Cerrito with my Uncle Charcoal, Auntie Marjorie, Julie and Jerald every Sunday.

I got baptized when I was in high school in 1979 by James Chuck who married my parents, and later my husband and me in 1987.  At CBC, I sang in the Youth and Adult Choirs, served as counselor and staff at Youth Camp, performed in fundraising plays for Youth Camp scholarships, and helped out in the Elementary Sunday School Classes.  Both of my daughters Lindsay and Courtney were also dedicated and baptized at CBC.

When Sunset Ministry was formed, I was part of the core group that went over with Pastor Larry Jay.  Even though I lived in Fairfield, it was still convenient to go to Sunset because my mother-in-law Lotus lived a few blocks away (2 houses from James and Marie Chuck), and we’d hang out with her after church for Sunday family dinners with my in-laws.  After my mother-in-law died, we decided not to make the drive out to Sunset anymore and I later found a local church in Fairfield where I’d been pretty active with until COVID.  

Since COVID, I started attending zoom CBC services, the Gathering Sunday School Classes and Bible Study with Joy and Becky… in addition to the screening of Chinese Couplets, Harvest Festival and Prayer Walk at Bayview/Hunter’s Point.  Pastors Sebastian and Chris O give messages that really resonate with me.   They are able to speak to us about Black Lives Matter, Stop AAPI Hate and the Insurrection through a Christian lens… and always drive home the importance of loving God and loving our neighbors even when we don’t agree.  I’ve been feeling called back to CBC, to continue growing my faith and serving the Chinatown community and CBC family. I probably am related by blood or marriage to a bunch of members, and that’s why things feel familiar for me.  At the same time, Pastor Sebastian is a new pastor to me and I do see a lot of newer, younger folks like Anni, and it’s exciting and rejuvenating for me.  For my faith journey, “everything old is new again.”

Ignorance is Bliss?

They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.  Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality as to indulge in every kind of impurity and they are full of greed.

Ephesians 4:18-19 NIV

Education is a big deal in my family.  My father worked for the Berkeley USD his whole career, working himself up from P.E. Teacher to Associate Superintendent.  Several of my cousins also work(ed) in school districts.  But the emphasis is not on collecting degrees - it is on learning. I have worked with people that don't have college degrees that are far smarter and wiser than those who do hold degrees. The one thing that smart and wise folks have in common is the willingness to learn.  They read, they take classes (formal and informal), they learn about history, other peoples and cultures.

Unfortunately, I feel as if there's an effort now to embrace ignorance or, at the very least, to keep the 45-Base of Insurrectionists ignorant.  It is much easier to spread a lie than to prove a truth.  And even though there's been a ton of proof that Biden won the election, the Big Lie continues.  The Virginia governor won on the lie that Critical Race Theory is being taught in K-12 (although McAuliffe made plenty of gaffes to contribute to his loss), and Conservatives spread the false idea that CRT makes White people hate themselves.  It's ironic to me that people who say Liberals are "snowflakes" still haven't acknowledged that Biden won the election, that there is systemic racism (which we should all be trying to eradicate), and that some still carry Confederate flags as if they never lost the Civil War.

Speaking of ignorance, how is it that the United States of America, a country with plenty of vaccines at our disposal, still has over 750K deaths (of the 5 million worldwide)? It's because of false information being put out there about the vaccines, it's because of the original lies about it being a "Democratic hoax," it's because people are trying to make a public safety issue a personal rights issue.  Quite simply, it's about willful ignorance and political bullshit.  Both Trump and Biden should've been united against this pandemic.  Heck, Biden even praised Trump's Operation Warp Speed (although Trump's distribution plan was poor/nonexistant.)  But the GOP is capitalizing on their far-right ignorant base to fight even this pandemic which everybody should have been united against.

The other thing I don't get is people's objections to Renewable Energy.  Yes, I drive a gas-powered car in addition to a hybrid.  And I do turn on my gas-powered heater in the winter.  But I also realize that this planet only has so much fossil fuel available, and I believe that we have enough smart people in this world to figure out how to generate renewable energy.  This would also open up jobs for people in addition to taking care of the planet.  Personally, I call it "Planet Care" instead of Climate Change because it seems some people cling to ignorance and won't learn about CC because it has a liberal name.  To put it simply, if you're a Christian and reading this, I believe God made us stewards of this planet and we should take care of it.  If we keep drilling into it to get limited resources, we're going to wreck the planet and run out of those resources anyway.

So why are the Conservatives leveraging ignorance?  Lately, you hear them complaining about "Cancel Culture" (I call it "Consequence Culture"), vaccine and masking mandates and Election Fraud.  I believe they are telling lies and exploiting the ignorance because they want to deflect attention away from the January 6 Insurrection Investigations and to continue passing Voter Restriction laws and gerrymander districts to win elections.  Instead of simply working for the people, they are basically cheating to get their way.

I've been following Heather Cox Richardson, a historian who breaks down the day's political events and have learned a lot.  While it's frustrating to me (and I'm sure most Americans) that Congress takes so long to get anything done, I recognize that it's because there's constant push/pull within the Democrats' moderate and progressive wings... all while trying to work with the obstructionist Republicans who don't want the Democrats to get a "win."  Just as proving out truths takes time, so does making any actual real progress... and I'm glad that, at the very least, the Infrastructure Bill passed.

#ThankYouBrandon

A Former Agnostic's Pandemic Journey Back to Chinatown

I originally started this blog to keep track of my journey as a Christian.  Most of my life I've been agnostic even though I went to the First Chinese Baptist Church of SF (FCBC) and its sister church Sunset Ministry most of my youth and adult life (from 7th grade through my early 40s). My parents are agnostic (although my mom trends atheist these days) and I basically saw church as my community of friends and family. Sometimes I believed that Jesus was the son of God and my salvation; but honestly I didn't think about it too much because there were times when I questioned my faith... such as when my brother-in-law and friend were shot at the Golden Dragon Massacre in Chinatown when I was a teen (brother-in-law survived but friend died).  It wasn't until later that I decided to examine my true beliefs which I wrote about here.

Even though I was born at SF's Children's Hospital, I grew up in the cities of Richmond and El Cerrito and went to the Richmond public schools.  My dad worked his entire career with the Berkeley Unified School District, including the Civil Rights Movement era.  My schools were always pretty multi-ethnic and I wanted my kids to grow up in a diverse environment which I think we have in Fairfield.  Nonetheless, my parents grew up in SF Chinatown and it was important to them that they retain their roots. They had both grown up and met in Chinatown and got married at FCBC. Every week, I remember driving over to SF to "mai soong" or buy groceries in Chinatown before heading to my grandparents' place on Filbert and Larkin.  Several of my uncles and aunts also lived in Richmond/El Cerrito, so my uncle started driving me to FCBC for church before going to my grandparents' place.  It's at FCBC that I met my hubby and we were later married by the same pastor who married my parents.

Since my dad worked in Berkeley schools, they always recognized MLK and Malcolm X birthdays as holidays, and they offered Asian American Summer School when I was a teen. It was there that I learned more about history that wasn't included in the public school textbooks... and then later in college, I was able to take Asian-American history courses at San Francisco State University. The summer before I graduated with my Journalism BA, I interned at the East/West Newspaper in Chinatown and have fond memories of working there. They offered me an editor position after I graduated but I wanted to veer more into broadcast journalism.  Hindsight is 20/20 and now I wonder if I should've stuck with print, but there's no use crying over spilt milk.

As a former agnostic, I've always looked at churches with a discerning eye.  I just assumed they served their communities as I know that FCBC has always worked closely with the YMCA across the street, done interchurch sports leagues to outreach to youth, conducted English Night School for immigrants, held day camps and other programs for kids in the community, etc.  Likewise, Sunset Ministry hosts a weekly food pantry program, does service projects with other organizations like SF Impact and Habitat for Humanity, etc.  I also went to New Orleans on a mission trip back in 2016 with Sunset Ministry, my only mission trip (so far.)  

While I understand that the #1 goal is to bring people to Christ (Love God), I believe the best way to do that is to Love Your Neighbor. I once told my agnostic father how a church was serving the homeless meals, doing blood drives, etc and he responded, "That's how it should be. Otherwise it's just talk."  It was then that I realized that whatever church I attend and contribute to needs to walk the talk - Love God AND Love your neighbors (Matt 22:37-40).   Otherwise it's just a club of like-minded people.  I'd say about half of my friends and family are agnostic and/or not church affiliated, and I believe the best way to reach them is to set an example of God's love with feet on the street.  They don't see God unless we reflect His love. I also need a church that has women in positions of leadership, is open with their annual budget and board members, and isn't afraid of discussing the hard stuff such as systemic racism and White Supremacy.

Pastors Sebastian Ong (FCBC) and Jerry Mann (Sunset Ministry) have been very open about supporting BLM as well as efforts to Stop AAPI Hate.  It would have been easy for a Chinatown pastor  to ignore BLM because many Chinatown residents see that some of the attacks are perpetuated by Black people... But Pastor Sebastian (who is from Singapore) educated himself on African-American history and leads his congregation with the hard discussions, including how many Chinese have racist perceptions, how the Model Minority Myth is a White Supremacist Trap and how we need to come together in solidarity with other folks to eliminate systemic injustices and further God's kingdom.  Likewise, Pastor Jerry Mann spoke at a couple rallies to #Stop AAPI Hate and Sunset Ministry has participated in both BLM and Stop AAPI Hate Rallies.  I'm so pleased that these churches are speaking up for their neighbors in addition to serving them.

After George Floyd was murdered, the Fairfield Police partnered up with some local churches and a nearby BLM Chapter to have a prayer vigil at our local Laurel Creek Park.  I was so glad to see these entities come together for this prayer vigil and I decided then to become more aware of my local police department's policies and activities.  I found out that they have a Neighborhood Court program for restorative justice and have volunteered to participate as a panelist (just received word that I have been accepted).  

I'm getting up in years and needed to assess how to spend my time and resources.  I really like participating in FCBC and Sunset Ministry activities (my roots), but also wanted to help my local community.  I have a group of Fairfield/Suisun Christian women that I fellowship with, and we support and hold each other accountable... And now I will be working with the Neighborhood Court program.  I thank God for this journey he's taken me on through this pandemic.  In January 2020, I had no idea I'd be here.  We were given a pandemic, summer of protests, insurrection, mass shootings, etc.  It's been filled with ups and downs, connections/reconnections, and lots of discovery. Only God could've gotten me here and I thank Him for every minute :)

Mourn with those who mourn

Romans 12:15 says: Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.

For the past few years, I've been a supporter of BLM. Seeing video footage of unarmed Black people being shot and/or killed over and over again has been awful to say the least.  I've been attending a multicultural church for the past 10+ years and I feel for my Black brothers and sisters whenever these killings occur.  I mourn with them. But to be totally honest, I've never actually had to feel what they feel until the recent attacks on Asians in America. It's especially painful when it's one of the elderly, but it's also painful to see young people attacked, verbally harassed, spit upon, etc... Simply because they look like me, my parents, my brother, my cousins or my kids. Our Black brothers and sisters have had to watch these injustices for centuries and it breaks my heart.

When bad things happen like on 9/11, I go to church, seeking God's answers on why these things happen.  I listen for the pastors to give words of wisdom and comfort. And lately, it seems like "bad things" have been happening again and again.  And while I know that only God has all the answers, I want my Christian family to mourn with those who mourn.  Most churches are great at the rejoicing with those who rejoice, but not all excel at mourning with those who mourn.

I believe that, like the Civil Rights Movement, this is an opportunity for America to grow and combat racism - personal and systemic. And I believe God's church should take the lead on this work... because Jesus asked us to love Him and to love our neighbor.  He wants us to take care of those who are oppressed and mistreated with the power of the Holy Spirit.  Prayer has always been the simplest yet most powerful tool, and that's why I am always praying for justice and peace... for you cannot have one without the other.  

Since the pandemic, I've been attending the First Chinese Church of SF and Sunset Ministry (its sister church) virtually - and they are excellent at addressing #BLM in addition to #StopAAPIHate in their prayers and messages.  I don't expect them to speak about it every week in their messages, but they DO always include these issues in prayer... They even had a Sunday School (The Gathering) in which a Black and Asian pastor led discussion on the recent attacks on Asians (many by Black people), and discussed how many of us grew up with racist ideas about Black people. It was uncomfortable discussing these things, but many of these things needed to be acknowledged and I'm glad people were able to be honest.  After the insurrection, it comforted me to hear the SF pastors pray about White Supremacists who carried "Jesus Saves" banners alongside Confederate flags.  How it angered them also that our Lord was being coopted for a racist message just as the Klan burnt crosses in front of Black homes.  How dare these people commit atrocities in our Lord's name?

My local church has always excelled at welcoming and growing new believers.  When I first started attending, I was basically an agnostic that was trying to find out if I truly believed in Jesus.  They helped me build a personal relationship with Christ along with some awesome friends, and for that I'll always be grateful. They continue to do His work in growing new believers and I am reminded that Christ's body has several parts to serve different functions.  But as Ecclesiastes 3 says, "There's a time for everything; and a season for everything under the heavens."  I believe I'm now in the season where I feel God's calling me back to my SF churches to "mourn with those who mourn." I will still pray for my local church but, for this season, I will be going home to SF.

Discerning the Voice of God

 It's been almost 2 months since my EOY blog in December, and here are some of the highlights of what's transpired.  Joe Biden is now officially the President of the United States, but not without a violent White Supremacist insurrection attempt at the Nation's Capitol.  There was a quick impeachment trial with only 7 GOP Senators who voted to convict.  On the COVID front, cases and deaths rose during the holidays but are now starting to drop or flatten.  We still need to be vigilant with masks and distancing, however, even as people are getting vaccinated, as the virus has mutated into more contagious strains.  And if the virus itself wasn't bad enough, there has been an increase in Asians (especially elders) being attacked in part because of the insistence of people on calling it the "China Virus," "Kung Flu," etc.

On a personal level, I did a 3-week fast (no breakfast and no salty snacks) and concentrated on discerning God's voice in my life and how to address BLM and racism in America.  All the news I cited in the first paragraph are basically forms of racism.  Trump and his folks, primarily Whites, tried to throw out votes from communities of color.  Some folks say, "The Civil War was really about states' rights," but they conveniently leave out the part about those "states' rights" being the right to have slaves.  In the same way, I believe these White Supremacists that broke into the Capitol were trying to do the same.  They say they were trying to "Stop the Steal" without admitting that they think the it was stolen by people of color.  There has been Voter Suppression going on for decades, especially in Black and Brown communities.  Despite over 60 court cases saying that there was no evidence of overwhelming election fraud (some by Trump-appointed judges), Trump and his supporters (including some in the Senate) continued to lie to rile up his base and attack the Capitol.  I was not surprised that the Senate GOP acquitted Trump (despite an awesome case presented by the House Managers) because I know how White Supremacists just want to stay in power. As a POC, that is how I perceive Trump and the insurrectionists as White Supremacists - in addition to the obvious Confederate flags, they don't believe my vote should count... nor the other POC they disagree with.

Regarding the attacks on Asians, it is complex because many of these attacks are perpetuated by young Black people.  It is a knee-jerk reaction for many Asians to then resent the Black community, but we must resist that.  As the linked article notes: Tran’s tweets reflected a larger sentiment online from many Asian Americans that keeping their community safe should not mean turning to increased policing—especially in the wake of a national reckoning this summer with systemic police brutality and the disproportionate harm it causes Black and brown communities, who often share space with Asian Americans...."If the bigger problem is anti-Asian sentiment, putting someone in jail doesn’t solve that problem,” she says, calling for an approach that allows perpetrators to be both held accountable and encouraged to change. “All of us really need to do work into our communities to unlearn these harmful narratives about each other."

This brings me to my next subject of the "Model Minority Myth" which is a White Supremacist strategy to divide the Asian and Black communities involving, "1) ignoring the role that selective recruitment of highly educated Asian immigrants has played in Asian American success followed by 2) making a flawed comparison between Asian Americans and other groups, particularly Black Americans, to argue that racism, including more than two centuries of black enslavement, can be overcome by hard work and strong family values."  I've seen recent social media posts by Asians, bragging about how they were able to be successful in America just by working hard (possibly assuming that others don't work hard).  They are buying into the whole Model Minority Myth and don't understand that the Black community has faced many more obstacles than the Asian community.  Granted, the Asians that posted this were either immigrants and/or first generation Americans, so many are unaware of the actual history of Blacks in America.  

It frustrates me when people respond with "All Lives Matter" when I say "Black Lives Matter;" but I have to remind myself that they are unaware and I need to tell them we say BLM because it really means BLM TOO..  Just like activists in the 60s wore signs that said, "I am a man" to remind people that they were human too (not that others weren't.)

It frustrates me when people say, "My ancestors came here the right way," but I have to remind myself that they are unaware of laws that kept my ancestors out (Chinese Exclusion Act) and that the "right way" was designed to ensure people of European descent remain in power... Not to mention the "right way" once included kidnapping Africans and forcing them into enslavement... and included taking land and lives from the Native Americans.  I have to remind myself that these folks were brought up with history books with selective memories, and I need to help raise awareness.

It frustrates me when people call COVID the "China Virus" but I have to remind myself that they may be unaware of the repercussions of Asians being attacked... and that it could be me one day.  It frustrates me even more when, after I've explained the impacts, they still insist it's okay to call it the China Virus "because that's where it came from." I have to remind myself that some people may not truly be my friends but I still have to raise awareness anyway (with others who may just be reading through a thread).

I mentioned earlier that I did a fast to discern God's voice, hoping to discover how to best address BLM and racism in America.  It has frustrated me that some churches have not addressed the "elephant in the room" and, as one Black friend posted recently, "The silence is loud." I'm reminded that I have a relationship with my pastors and am able to speak frankly with them to tell them what I'm thinking.  It's not that I want anybody to preach on racism every week.  It's just good to at least acknowledge racism and political strife through prayer so that POC don't feel as if their pain is being ignored (while also bringing awareness to White constituents.)

Since the year started, I've been doing a study by Priscilla Shirer on "Discerning the Voice of God" as well as watching various Right Now Media's series on racism... and I'm currently going through a 40-day devotional on the Bible app on racism.  The consistent message I've been getting is that there is a lack of awareness.  For now, I feel called to continue posting my thoughts on BLM and racism to raise awareness... and to continue educating myself.